nerdy lovebirb daily basis 相声新势力
生 the true master of 相声
Jason: I never know what to say to people at funerals.
Tim: Just say "I'm sorry for your loss", then move on.
[a minute later]
Jason: Sorry for your loss. Move on.
*
Tim: You're clearly not listening. I can say whatever I want.
Jason: Tell me about it.
Tim: I murdered Damian last night.
Jason: I feel you.
Tim: Now that I have the taste for blood, I can't stop murdering.
Jason: Been there.
*
Tim: Feels like you're being a little harsh.
Jason: Thanks, I was going for extremely harsh. I'll turn it up.
*
Tim: You have the right to remain-
Jason: A loser!
Tim: Noice. But now, legally, I have to start over, Jason
*
Red Robin: So you approach on foot from the south, and me and Nightwing will be in an unmarked car here.
Redhood: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. "Me and Nightwing"? Didn't you mean "Nightwing and I"?
Red Robin: Oh, God.
Redhood: I corrected your grammar! Are you so proud of me? Are you horrified? Are you super horny?
*
Tim: Look, let’s just agree to say “I’m sorry” on the count of three. One… Two… Three…
Jason:
Tim:
Tim: See, now I’m just disappointed in the both of us.
*
Jason: From this point on, I'll do every part of the job perfectly. Perfecter than perfectly.
Tim: It's more perfect. You said that imperfectly.
Jason: I was testing you. You did perfectly.
*
Dick: Let me guess, you and Jason are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss.
Tim: What? No!
Tim: I know how to kiss, I've read books!
Dick:
*
Jason: Interesting. The odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small.
Tim: I would say infinitesimally.
Jason: Yes, and I would say teenily weenily. We all know words.
*
Dick: we're gonna have to bribe Jason so he lets us out without telling Bruce.
Tim: oh my god, i'm the bribe, aren't I?
Dick: you are not the bribe.
Tim: why? what's wrong with my body?????
*
Tim: You're going to ace this contest.
Jason: You think that because you love me, and love has made you dumb.
Tim: I disagree. If anything, love has made me smarter. Remember last week when I boiled that egg?
Jason: That was big. I was really proud of you.